Without a doubt, the single biggest issue women come to me with is an empty feeling of having “lost who they are.”
There are a number of life circumstances that bring us to this intersection of comparing who we see in the mirror and who we once dreamed we would be.
It seems most of us are longing for more. More happiness. More fulfillment. More change. But ultimately what it all boils down to is we are LONGING FOR THE GIRL WE WERE CREATED TO BE.
From the very beginning you were created to be a dynamic, whole being, full of potential. Over the seasons of life, you may have gotten weary. You may have lost your way for a bit. BUT LIFE DOESN’T HAVE TO CONTINUE THAT WAY.
Your way BACK to the girl you were created to be can begin – right – now.
Back to the girl with dreams and passion.
Back to the girl who believes in herself.
Back to the girl who DOES stuff. Fun stuff.
Back to the girl who loves life.
Back to the girl who laughs.
Back to the girl who is going somewhere, and excited about the journey!
Is this you?
Of course it is. It’s all of us to some extent. The busyness and the demands of life become a choke hold which leave us struggling our way through life as half of the woman we were created to be. But the truth still remains … you are more powerful than you ever imagined and more capable than you’ve ever given yourself credit for.
Each of us.
***** note from Lonnie *****
Really think about this question…
What are you capable of?
Stop right here – before you move on. Re-read that question.
You are capable of MUCH more than you’ve been told.
Isn’t it time to UNLEASH her?
So, what do we do from here?
How do we RE-kindle that fire that once burned in us …
How do we RE-commit to living the life we really want …
How do we RE-vive our passion for life …
How do we RE-sist the temptations that have trapped us before …
How do we RE-lentlessly pursue our best instead of settling for just “enough” …
We come back to the girl we were created to be.
Before you were their mom. Before you became his wife. Before you were home owner, working woman, suck it in, avoid the mirror, “God, is it Friday yet”, wake up and do it all over again woman … you were just a girl. A girl with bright eyes who dreamed of what she wanted to be when she grew up. A girl who was carefree, full of hope and endless potential. A girl with her whole life ahead of her to go and do and be.
What the heck happened to that girl? Has she gotten lost?
Nope, she’s not lost. She’s in there. SHE IS THE REAL YOU. She’s YOUR GIRL.
What about those hopes and dreams you had as a girl … tell me again why you aren’t pursuing them? How can you RE-kindle that spark and create a life on FIRE with passion and purpose? You know, that’s what this world really needs … You, on fire for life. If you will be the girl you were created to be, you will set this world on fire. And it’s not nearly has hard as you’re imagining it to be.
Think about this; you may very well be living out some of the dreams you once had, but totally missing them.
Example: You wanted to marry him. You prayed, God please let me be his wife. I just want to grow old with him.
And now, maybe you are. But you’re complaining about it like it’s pure misery. Have you forgotten he is the one you love more than anyone in this world? Are you treating him like he’s the one you prayed for? Are you devastated by the gray hair and wrinkles you’re both growing, coloring and covering every ounce of proof that you ARE IN FACT growing old together.
Have you missed that you ARE living the dream?
Oh how you wanted to be a Mommy. A baby of your own to hold and love and raise. And you got one. Maybe even more than one. And this morning you complained about the little beast who wouldn’t eat his breakfast and the other one who wouldn’t put on her shoes and rushed her out the door late again for school. Oh yes you did. You grumbled with disapproval as your home is littered with remains of all the people living under your roof who can’t seem to take care of themselves. Clearly the world would stop turning without you.
And you’re exhausted.
And you’re completely missing that you are living the real life fairy-tale of being Mommy.
Oh crap. Your dreams did come true. And you’re complaining?
RE-girl me, please God.
Help me come back to the girl you created me to be. A girl who dreams, and believes and savors every bit of it. A girl who wakes up with anticipation of great things. A girl who finds the joy in simple things. A girl who doesn’t care more about what everyone else thinks than what she thinks herself. A girl who is DOING something, GOING somewhere, BECOMING someone.
If you’re ready, keep reading. Here are 3 simple steps to begin the journey back to the girl you were created to be.
1. Take Full Responsibility
Responsibility, never a popular option with the teens these days, but always the right one. As moms we know this to be true. But at what point do we outgrow the need for responsibility ourselves? Sure, you can always pass the buck, but does that make you debt free? Nope. It makes you powerless. Here’s what happens when you take ownership of every area of your life … you are in the driver’s seat. You can change anything you wish to change because you have the power. Not him or anyone else. You.
But what if it’s not your fault? You can’t take the blame for your bad childhood, the man who left you, the friend who betrayed you, the boss who fired you. What do you do when it wasn’t fair? When it can’t be your fault? When there was no other option? Your hand was forced and the choice wasn’t yours to be made? What do you do then? You take full responsibility for what you do now.
And that my friend is POWER. Harness it.
Who’s responsible for your health? Who’s responsible for your happiness? Who’s responsible for your work? Who’s responsible for your future? That would be YOU and solely you. And today you can decide to do something different. Today you can decide to make a single change that will affect every area of your life, for the rest of your life. Today you can. But only if you’re willing to take responsibility for your life.
You can’t always control what happens to you. But how you respond to it … well sweet sister … that’s always up to you.
Have some changes you need to make?
Have some issues crying for your attention?
Taking full responsibility for your life is the first step in REAL change for this reason…
Your life will get better when you do. You are the common denominator in everything.
Don’t fear it. Don’t avoid it. Don’t neglect it.
You CAN do it. (We created an Army to help)
2. Crap is Fertilizer
So, life sorta sucks right now. Here’s what I know about sucky situations … they pass. Eventually, somehow the sun shines again and life becomes less sucky. But even the crappy times can be used for your benefit. Listen up if you seem to be knee deep in crap right now: CRAP IS FERTILIZER FOR YOUR BIG LIFE. It’s true. Crap is fertilizer. Last spring we bought hundreds of dollars of bagged up crap. Pure crap. Cow crap. Chicken crap. Even worm crap. WE PAID FOR CRAP. And wow, did our garden flourish. Our tomato plants grew stronger, faster and bigger because of crap.
The same is true for your life. A little fertilizer is good for growth. Tough times make you stronger. Every muscle you have today is a result of being used against resistance. You want to live the BIG Life available to you as the girl you were created to be … use the crap for your good. As Coach Lonnie says, EMBRACE THE SUCK.
Embrace it, do the best you can with it … but for heaven’s sake woman, don’t settle for it. Don’t wallow in it. Don’t set up shop and claim crap as your lot in life. Grow up out of it. Rise.
This won’t last forever. Learn what you gotta learn. Just keep getting better. And eventually you’ll rise above it all and produce a major crop in your life. A crop you can be proud of. But first, crap.
Right now, make the mental shift from “crap keeps happening to me” to “this crap will make me better.” While it doesn’t magically clean up all the messes in our life, it allows us to focus on the positive and once again harness our own power. Scripture says “seek and ye shall find.” If you’re seeking how your current setback or hardship can SERVE YOU, guess what you will find? Go ahead and guess. Ding, ding, ding. You’re right. You will find exactly how crap is indeed fertilizer. And through it you will grow. Faster, stronger, bigger.
3. Back to the Basics
What makes you happy? I mean to the core happy? When is the last time you allowed yourself to wallow around in the things that make you happy? Do you ever feel those impulses to take off your shoes and run through the grass? Or jump in a public water fountain? Or stick your head out the car window and scream “woooo-hoooo”? Or wear ridiculously bright lipstick that you’re entirely too old for? Or crank up your favorite song and let it all hang out?
Answer 1: Yes
Great – What do you do when you feel those impulses? If you’re hesitating on any level, you are denying yourself the opportunity to be exactly who you were created to be. It all seems so small and insignificant, but the truth is, eventually it sucks the life right out of you. You have a big responsibility from the moment you are born. What is that responsibility? TO ENJOY THE LIFE YOU HAVE BEEN GIVEN.
Yes, you must be a responsible adult. You do have little eyes watching you after all. They are following your example. BUT ARE YOU TEACHING THEM THE FUNDAMENTAL RESPONSIBILITY OF LIFE? ARE YOU TEACHING THEM TO ENJOY IT?
Now back to that question. Do you ever feel those impulses to do simple things that bring you happiness?
Answer 2: No
Oh, sister, that’s a full on blaring alarm of major concern. If you no longer feel the pull to do simple little things just “because”, you have buried that girl you were created to be with unrealistic expectations and bound her with ropes of adulting. This is why you frown upon those crazy women you see at a women’s retreat jumping off tall towers and having paint fights. This is why you would never, ever dream of running through a public water fountain. Because your “girl” has spent all these years trapped inside of an uptight woman trying to be proper and dignified and keep her kids in line, put a hot dinner on the table, and tidy up the never ending messes.
Good Lord woman, snap out of it! This is not all there is to life. Where is the joy? Joy doesn’t just happen on big, fancy vacations and those rare shopping sprees. Joy happens in those priceless moments of freely living on the edge, daring to breathe in deeper, and doing those simple silly things just because darn it, you want to.
You’ve been held back for years, but the only one holding you back is you.
Your mission is to listen to that voice. Be sensitive to that impulse. That is your girl. YOUR GIRL. The girl you were created to be. Even at this age, she is fun-loving. Please let her have fun.
The journey back to the girl you were created to be starts here. Embrace the suck, take responsibility and get back to the basics. The basics of gratitude and hard work. The basics of simplicity and belly laughs. The basics of love. Loving them. And loving you.
RE-girl me. I’ve been longing for that girl again. My girl. I’ve been walking around as just a shell of the woman I was created to be. I want more. More of the life available to me. RE-vive me, RE-fresh me, RE-ignite me, RE-store me.
I am a RE-girl … taking another shot at life the life I was Created for.
Join me . . .